MOTY's Unite

Twenty-eight was my age when my four year, live-in relationship ended.  I was left alone, in a state half way across the country from my family, sitting in the corner of his empty closet crying.  Wondering...what does the future hold?  What am I going to do?  I don't have the energy to start over.  What are the chances I'll love again? My cousin recently went through a romantic loss.  Life is full of uncertainties and confusion.  She asked me if I'd write a piece on love.  The wait.  The faith walk.  My story.  So here it goes... After the break-up I immersed myself in work, self-help books and church.  I dug deep.  Who was I?  Apart from my ex-boyfriend...who was I?  Without having to communicate with someone daily, dance emotionally with them daily, focus on their needs daily....who was I? I think it was around 13 self help books that I read.  Or close to.  I journaled my way through each one. ...

My brother, Dave, always says when he's riding in a car (shotgun) and he feels out of control with the driving he tells himself ..."side window, side window" ...as he grasps for some comfort in changing his view from the road to the scenery beside him.  As if completely ignoring reality and focusing on something beyond himself will calm his mind.  The beauty in a hillside.  The snow covered mountains.  The headlights in the lane beside him in the thick of night. Anything, really, to distract him from the discomfort he feels being a situation in which he has no control. How many times do we do this ourselves? Something challenging presents itself and instead of facing it with fear and worry and not a lick of control ...we simply change our view.  Change our focus.  Distract ourselves with something we can observe, something we can do something with, something that will make a difference. I'm afraid to say that I don't do this enough.  I tend to ...