Lately we've been under construction. On our brand new home. Six weeks, and counting, if your'e curious.
Long story short, we had a bad 'batch' of windows installed that caused countless problems over the winter till this spring they started leaking when the rain arrived. Puddles. On our brand new, 4 month old, window sills. Needless to say, things did not go well when we spoke to the window company.
They've redeemed themselves. They gave us an upgrade from vinyl to fiberglass windows, and their insurance is paying for the work, re-stucco, siding trim work, dry wall fixes, painters (inside and out), window cleaning, etc.
I knew it would take longer than the 2 weeks they originally quoted us. But we are sitting at 6 weeks...and although the end is in sight, its still a good week or two away.
My kids are asking when Halloween is because I cannot decorate. There are no signs of any holiday visible in this mess. Not with our chandelier down (in prevention of being broken from all the tall ladders moving around in here), curtains down, decor off of walls...it is chaos.
Our dog barks all day when workers are here. Did I mention I work from home?
Anyone who has gone through a remodel knows exactly what I'm talking about. Its frustrating. Its aggravating. Its exciting...to have the work done. This, however, was completely unexpected seeming we haven't even lived here ONE YEAR. When we closed on our new home in January, I certainly did not anticipate this mess.
I'm also the type of person who has a very small tolerance for clutter/chaos. Shane can get a glass of water and before he has a chance to refill it, I've put the glass in the dishwasher. My house isn't always clean...but its usually tidy. Things go in places. Specific places. And if something is out of its specific place, I cannot work, focus or rest until it is.
I suppose this is a curse...and a blessing. Someway, somehow...its a blessing, right?!
So needless to say, this ongoing construction process has my nerves shot. My neck in knots. My focus vanished. I haven't been to the gym since they started...which is bad, I know. That release would probably really help me. But I'm too much of a control freak to leave workers at my house all day, unattended.
I keep asking myself through all of this...why am I so wrapped up with this ordeal? Why can't I just take one day at a time and let the rest go? It will be what it will be...
The answers come back as nagging voices in my head. Wise voices...nagging only because they're asking for something bigger than I feel capable of delivering. I feel like the Holy Spirit is whispering..."Relax. Balance. Peace. Girl...these are FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS."
Nothing earth shattering. No one is in the hospital. We have warm beds, food and family. Despite the upcoming, concerning, election...we still live in a free country. Why in the world am I letting this project rattle me this way?
So I'm learning a few lessons...every day for the past 6+ weeks...the first is BALANCE. Today is today. It will be what it will be. No need to worry about the future. The day still needs its balance of scripture, love, laughter and a thankful heart despite the chaotic mess. PATIENCE...I still need to live my life regardless of the mess. I am spoiled with this tidy life...this is a very small exercise in patience (that I happen to be failing). I want it done so bad...I want the workers off my toilets and out of my hair. But really, they are FIXING it...so I should be grateful and thankful, not frustrated and anxious.
First world problems...for sure. {My head falls in shame... }
This rat race we live in today, its so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle. Especially going into this glorious holiday season. But I'm trying, and maybe someone reading this will too, to find the balance and patience. To quit running and stressing over everything. To set my phone down and pick up my journal and Bible. To take a hot bath...even if just for 10 minutes. And during that time, pray for those who desperately need it.
Who am I? I want to move to my favorite state. Build my dream home. Have a great life/community and marriage and eat cake without gaining weight? SO entitled that I get upset about a silly house project? An argument with Shane? A D+ grade on a test my son brings home from school when he has straight A's? Really? Who am I? I really need to get a grip...and do some deep repenting and soul searching.
We have been enormously blessed. We do live a wonderful life...filled with chaos and interruptions. Nothing comes easy. We did not just show up here sans challenges, struggles and heart aches. I still haven't figured out what it is about the human heart that expects hand outs and free rides. I suppose entitlement is one of the original sins...still very well alive today. But I'm trying. I'm trying to release those expectations and settle into today. Doing things that I can do. Helping in ways I can. Finding the blessings in the struggles.
Life IS chaos. Life IS a mess. Life IS interruptions. Life IS unexpected twists and turns.
There is no such thing as unlimited, undisrupted time. Life IS the blessings in the midst of the chaotic mess and distractions.
Why can't I realize this? Sure would save me (and everyone around me) a lot of grief.
So today I am embracing the mess. Baking cookies for the workers. Handing out sodas and visiting during their lunches. First world...we are so blessed to live in it.
Today I'm trying to internalize and realize, and mostly importantly, accept that life will never be a fairy tale story of relaxation and challenge-free days. But the blessings in the chaos...they're beyond beautiful. We have a brand new home with brand new windows, fresh paint (soon), and TWO layers of stucco. Thats nothing to complain about...its time to celebrate!
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is throw into the fire, how much more will he clothe you - you of little faith!
And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well."
Luke 12:25-31
Long story short, we had a bad 'batch' of windows installed that caused countless problems over the winter till this spring they started leaking when the rain arrived. Puddles. On our brand new, 4 month old, window sills. Needless to say, things did not go well when we spoke to the window company.
They've redeemed themselves. They gave us an upgrade from vinyl to fiberglass windows, and their insurance is paying for the work, re-stucco, siding trim work, dry wall fixes, painters (inside and out), window cleaning, etc.
I knew it would take longer than the 2 weeks they originally quoted us. But we are sitting at 6 weeks...and although the end is in sight, its still a good week or two away.
My kids are asking when Halloween is because I cannot decorate. There are no signs of any holiday visible in this mess. Not with our chandelier down (in prevention of being broken from all the tall ladders moving around in here), curtains down, decor off of walls...it is chaos.
Our dog barks all day when workers are here. Did I mention I work from home?
Anyone who has gone through a remodel knows exactly what I'm talking about. Its frustrating. Its aggravating. Its exciting...to have the work done. This, however, was completely unexpected seeming we haven't even lived here ONE YEAR. When we closed on our new home in January, I certainly did not anticipate this mess.
I'm also the type of person who has a very small tolerance for clutter/chaos. Shane can get a glass of water and before he has a chance to refill it, I've put the glass in the dishwasher. My house isn't always clean...but its usually tidy. Things go in places. Specific places. And if something is out of its specific place, I cannot work, focus or rest until it is.
I suppose this is a curse...and a blessing. Someway, somehow...its a blessing, right?!
So needless to say, this ongoing construction process has my nerves shot. My neck in knots. My focus vanished. I haven't been to the gym since they started...which is bad, I know. That release would probably really help me. But I'm too much of a control freak to leave workers at my house all day, unattended.
I keep asking myself through all of this...why am I so wrapped up with this ordeal? Why can't I just take one day at a time and let the rest go? It will be what it will be...
The answers come back as nagging voices in my head. Wise voices...nagging only because they're asking for something bigger than I feel capable of delivering. I feel like the Holy Spirit is whispering..."Relax. Balance. Peace. Girl...these are FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS."
Nothing earth shattering. No one is in the hospital. We have warm beds, food and family. Despite the upcoming, concerning, election...we still live in a free country. Why in the world am I letting this project rattle me this way?
So I'm learning a few lessons...every day for the past 6+ weeks...the first is BALANCE. Today is today. It will be what it will be. No need to worry about the future. The day still needs its balance of scripture, love, laughter and a thankful heart despite the chaotic mess. PATIENCE...I still need to live my life regardless of the mess. I am spoiled with this tidy life...this is a very small exercise in patience (that I happen to be failing). I want it done so bad...I want the workers off my toilets and out of my hair. But really, they are FIXING it...so I should be grateful and thankful, not frustrated and anxious.
First world problems...for sure. {My head falls in shame... }
This rat race we live in today, its so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle. Especially going into this glorious holiday season. But I'm trying, and maybe someone reading this will too, to find the balance and patience. To quit running and stressing over everything. To set my phone down and pick up my journal and Bible. To take a hot bath...even if just for 10 minutes. And during that time, pray for those who desperately need it.
Who am I? I want to move to my favorite state. Build my dream home. Have a great life/community and marriage and eat cake without gaining weight? SO entitled that I get upset about a silly house project? An argument with Shane? A D+ grade on a test my son brings home from school when he has straight A's? Really? Who am I? I really need to get a grip...and do some deep repenting and soul searching.
We have been enormously blessed. We do live a wonderful life...filled with chaos and interruptions. Nothing comes easy. We did not just show up here sans challenges, struggles and heart aches. I still haven't figured out what it is about the human heart that expects hand outs and free rides. I suppose entitlement is one of the original sins...still very well alive today. But I'm trying. I'm trying to release those expectations and settle into today. Doing things that I can do. Helping in ways I can. Finding the blessings in the struggles.
Life IS chaos. Life IS a mess. Life IS interruptions. Life IS unexpected twists and turns.
There is no such thing as unlimited, undisrupted time. Life IS the blessings in the midst of the chaotic mess and distractions.
Why can't I realize this? Sure would save me (and everyone around me) a lot of grief.
So today I am embracing the mess. Baking cookies for the workers. Handing out sodas and visiting during their lunches. First world...we are so blessed to live in it.
Today I'm trying to internalize and realize, and mostly importantly, accept that life will never be a fairy tale story of relaxation and challenge-free days. But the blessings in the chaos...they're beyond beautiful. We have a brand new home with brand new windows, fresh paint (soon), and TWO layers of stucco. Thats nothing to complain about...its time to celebrate!
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is throw into the fire, how much more will he clothe you - you of little faith!
And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well."
Luke 12:25-31
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