My life has been an assortment of careers. I graduated from college certified to teach with a Math major & Science minor. I taught one year. Barely...I wanted so badly to leave during Christmas break but I didn't want to let my principal down, my students down...or screw up my resume. I went back to my college career counselor and asked what else I could do with my education. Actuarial Analyst was my next job title. Loved the work there...but longed for something that didn't have me in a cubicle for 9 hours a day with an hour commute (in good traffic)...each way. Went back to school and got my real estate license. Sold real estate independently and for a builder. When I moved back to Ohio (from CO) to date my now husband, I went to work for my dad at his travel agency. Working with large incentive groups was my focus and it was a nice change and close to home. When I got pregnant, I wanted nothing more than to be able to be home and/or work from home. People told me I had a good eye, so I bought my first decent camera, white & black muslin backdrops, stand, and some lights to see where it would go. Thirteen years later I still have a camera in hand...but shifting from newborn studio photography (at home in my finished lower level so I could be in the same house with my babes upstairs with my mom/nanny) to family portraits, HS seniors, to occasional weddings. When we moved back to CO my boys were both in school all day so I decided to shift things again and see if I could get some commercial imaging work to do while they were there. Portraits cut into evenings and weekends. I now have a good mix of both. Given the boys are into lots of activities now, I decided to also pick up a few clients I clean house for a handful of days every month. I get to listen to inspiring podcasts all day and leave with a happy heart knowing they will come home to a clean house they'll enjoy.
My point to this long story is that I feel that a career shouldn't define our lives or lifestyle. A career can be a book filled with lots of different chapters, different specialties, and adventures. Why not?
Even my husband has shifted a bit from his physically taxing landscaping business to other things that will be kinder to his knees and back.
Which this all got me thinking...why don't we talk about these types of things with our kids as they grow up? Why wouldn't we teach them the things we had to learn the hard way...along the way...or are even still learning today. Like...you don't have to do whatever you go to college for your whole life. You can...and how amazing to love something so much that you are blessed with a fulfilling career in the same field. But if it doesn't fit for a season of life or it just doesn't fit at all...that's ok, too. God works in mysterious ways and sometimes our lives take unexpected turns.
I'm not saying to be a bum. Lazy. Unmotivated. Give up. Living on mom and dads dime well into your 20's or even 30's. I'm saying, its ok to shift gears. What if we took the time to think about things that will set the course of our lives before jumping into studying one thing/career path in college or trade school.
I started thinking about what top 5 things would I ask my 18 year old self?
- What type of environment do you enjoy best? When you study - do you like to study aloud with friends or do you like to work quietly alone? Do you prefer to stay in one spot working on a project all day or do you like moving around and interacting with people? We're all different. My husband and son can open their eyes and be out the door 15 minutes later. The other kid and myself have to ease into the day. I can go for hours not talking to anyone and working alone in a quiet room/house where my husband will walk in the door making weird made up words like, "chica-whacka-wing-wang! I'm home!!!' to be sure we all hear him. He makes motor mouth noises when he concentrates on something. He's ALWAYS vocal. There is no right or wrong answer here...just taking the time to know where you fall on the spectrum. My husband is on phone calls ALL day and anyone who has met him feels like they've been friends for 40 years. Me...I am an introvert. If I am social, I must have an equal amount of quiet time to recoup. I work best alone.
- Do you like working shorter or longer days? How many days a week do you want to work? Do you want weekends off or a couple weekdays? I've been in several different types of work environments. Although my type A personality thrives in structure and patterns, I've found I like it best when I'm an entrepreneur setting my own schedule every week. Nurses work long shifts, but then may get 3-4 consecutive days off. Flight attendants/pilots can work several days in a row, but then have a long time off in between their next shift. The service industry often works evenings and weekends. Bankers have day hours. Teachers get summers off. When I was in real estate sales I had two weekdays off and loved it! The stores were empty, adventures were cheaper...but finding a church I could attend regularly was tough with my work hours. There are definitely perks both ways. What type of lifestyle would you prefer? Do you want to be tied to a set schedule or make your own? Do you want to work really hard and then get a clump of time off or work the same amount of hours each day and have a set time off? Things to think of as you choose what career path.
- What lifestyle do you see yourself living? How big of a house? Car? Location...city? Country? Beach? Mountains? Rolling hills? Lake? We had a gorgeous home in Ohio on a smaller plot of land. Cement driveway and sidewalks. Kids everywhere. It was amazing. We loved it! Now we live on a larger plot of land, dirt road and smaller house. I love having less to clean and the quiet that comes with fewer neighbors. There are perks to both! But asking these types of questions may help you know what direction to go in your career. I LOVE the mountains. Some people love the beach! Some love the desert, the snow, lakeside cottages. Where do you see yourself living? What careers are in demand in those areas? What are the demographics? What type of job would you need to fund your ideal life?
- Do you plan to have a family? How will this impact your career? Where would you like to live (its amazing how I never thought about living in a certain school district until I had kids who would be attending them)? Will you be able to make adjustments to your plan to fit the life you hope to have as a parent? I have friends who have raised (or are raising) the most AMAZING kids while working full time. My one friend told me...I know I'm not a stay-at-home mom. I'm being the best mom I can be while continuing my full-time career. Other friends completely focus on their kids and spouse. Some do a little of both. Some give up their original careers to do something more flexible. Thinking about these things ahead of time would've allowed me to plan for this time. Maybe even prepare for it. Maybe I would've saved a little more and invested more in order to fund being home. Maybe I wouldn't. But point being...this is something to consider (for boys and girls!). If a boy would like his wife to be able to stay home...how can he plan for that? Is she on board with this plan or does she want to follow a passion for her career? I think communicating these topics before starting a family (or even getting married) would relieve marriages from a lot of unnecessary stress. At least it would've for me.
- Aside from working to make money, what other ways do you plan to build your wealth? If I only had someone teach me about buying real estate, investing or having a side hustle when I was in High school/college...I would be in a very different place now. We have a couple rental properties and I wish we had about five more. I would've never sold my first home or Shane's, I would've rented them. I hope to teach my kids the beauty of building wealth with where you live and making your money work for you. Not sure that they'll listen...but if they do, they would be on a path to retire at a far younger age than I will be.
If I had considered these five things earlier in my life, who knows where I would be now. I don't have any regrets. I love where we are and where God has led us. I also feel its my job as a parent to pass on and share what I have learned to my kids in hopes that they will have a head start.
Having a college degree is something I'm grateful to fall back on. Oddly enough, I have not used my degree for most of my career life. My husband has a college degree, yet has never used it to get a job. He's owned his own company most of his life. Isn't it odd? Trade schools, nannying, I'm making around $30/hour cleaning houses...not bad for a part time gig to pay for the kids activities. There are many different ways to be successful. Look at all the 'influencers' on social media these days! Who knew?
Bottom line, start with the big picture. What are the biggest priorities in your life? What lifestyle do you want to live? Travel? Home body? Small apartment? Big house?
From there...trusting God and praying for guidance to know what His best is for you. What career will provide this lifestyle for you? I know photographers who have built a big enough audience through social media that they travel all over the world and book photo sessions each place they visit that pay for their vacation in a few hours of work (and then some). What a great gig! Look at Bob Goff...lawyer who has schools in Africa and best selling books.
What do you lose track of time doing? What have people praised you for having as a God-given gift? Take the time to truly explore these things. All successful businesses will tell you that you have to take time to invest in yourself. Further, you have to take time to work ON your business, not just IN your business. When I started college I had just finished a super busy high school career where I was working and in activities. I never really had a chance to take time to find me or work on myself to know what direction I wanted to go in life. Next thing you know, you have tons of money wrapped up in a college degree and you feel obligated to use it...for the rest. of. your. life.
What questions will you be asking your kids before they fly the nest and go off into the world?
What if we, as parents, took the time to have the conversations with our kids as they went through those high school years to explore some of these questions. Self exploration. Plan things. Look ahead. Map it out. Then finding the balance to let it go and let God.
We have one chance at this life. Make it worth living. Don't make a living that holds you back from your worth.
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