MOTY's Unite

This past week has been emotional. Summer came to a close. Fears and unknowns of what junior high would bring for my oldest sinking in. Reality hitting me when we walked his schedule Monday and found his locker. Younger Miles telling me repeatedly how proud he is of Finn going into Jr. High and how great it is that he has his own locker. Always admiring and looking up to his big brother. Then the icing on the cake was when Finn gently touched my leg this morning to wake me (just minutes before my alarm was set to go off)..."mom, I just wanted to make sure you had enough time to get ready before we have to leave." His hair styled, teeth brushed, uniform on, smelled good...oh my heart, how the tables have turned. I went out to the kitchen to make his breakfast only to find he already had. I got dressed and ready as I could sense his excitement for the day and it hit...as it continues to do...he's one step closer to leaving me. Hot tears stream my cheeks as I try to a...

My life has been an assortment of careers.  I graduated from college certified to teach with a Math major & Science minor.  I taught one year.  Barely...I wanted so badly to leave during Christmas break but I didn't want to let my principal down, my students down...or screw up my resume.  I went back to my college career counselor and asked what else I could do with my education.  Actuarial Analyst was my next job title.  Loved the work there...but longed for something that didn't have me in a cubicle for 9 hours a day with an hour commute (in good traffic)...each way.  Went back to school and got my real estate license.  Sold real estate independently and for a builder.  When I moved back to Ohio (from CO) to date my now husband, I went to work for my dad at his travel agency.  Working with large incentive groups was my focus and it was a nice change and close to home.  When I got pregnant, I wanted nothing more than to be a...

In the past month we have had two bomb cyclone blizzards.  The first one was wild.  It knocked our electricity (and water, given we're on a well) out for a day and left us feeling an immense amount of gratitude for our everyday luxuries as well as our gas burning fireplace and stovetop. The last storm wasn't nearly as strong, thankfully.  We hunkered down, though, and I think our community, in general, was much more cautious and prepared.  The first storm left around 1,000 people stranded in their cars overnight with winds gusting up to 100 mph around them.  I can only imagine how cold and scary that would be! After our two snow days last week, we got more snow yesterday and again today.  We had 70 degrees and sunshine a week ago.  I laid out in my swimsuit and got a smidge of color, even.  Spring transitions are hard for me.  Its discouraging to get a taste of summer only to revert back to winter.  I got depressed, unmotivated, a...

One our dear friends had a terrible tragedy where they lost their daughter at a very young age, unexpectedly. Since Hudson was friends with her, we had many conversations with him about God, life, love, and heaven.   We worked hard to help him find peace through a difficult and shocking time. Finn was little.  I don’t remember his exact age, but maybe one or two?     One afternoon as Shane and I were talking in the kitchen about our friends daughter being in heaven, Hudson asked if she would ever come back?  We said no...and tried, again, to explain the finality of death to his young, impressionable heart. He stood there, quiet for a bit, then made a statement to Shane that would scar my heart for the rest of my life.   ***** “Daddy, if Leila (what he used to call me) dies...then you could go back and marry mommy again!  Annnnnnd….we could take Finn with us!!!” ***** I know, I know...he’s just a child.  I know, I know...

I was sitting in my grey cubicle in Tempe, AZ working as an actuarial analyst for Progressive Insurance (2002) when I got the call.  My four year old nephew had been in the hospital all week. They were running a gazillion tests on him to try to figure out why he had been ill for weeks with flu like symptoms of low fever, loss of an appetite, and fatigue.  I don’t remember who it was that called me or what they even said. All I remember hearing was….non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Stage 3. 90% chance of survival. He was F O U R years old. My body froze.  Breath vanished from my lungs with a pain I had never felt before.  My stomach was queasy and my hands sweating and trembling with fear.  It was the very last thing I expected to hear. The big ‘C’ wasn’t even on my radar given his young age.  They thought he had a virus. They thought he was just on a growth spurt. They thought it was cat scratch fever.  But it wasn’t any of those easily trea...

Over fall break the boys and I drove up to Mount Rushmore.  On the way home we drove through Custer State Park.  This is one of my favorite photos taken of Sylvan Lake.  The way the water calmed long enough to have a seamless reflection of the rocks...breathtaking. This image symbolizes BALANCE to me.  As the rocks look like they're calm and perfectly placed on top of their reflection.  But all it takes is one gust of wind or even a light breeze and the beautiful reflection is lost. Isn't life that way?  I feel like I have things figured out and things are going fairly well and then...BAM...something gets thrown into the mix that was completely unexpected. Our blended family has felt this way, as well.  Some days things look beautiful and balanced.  Others...we're a hot mess. My stepson didn't come for the holidays this year.  He came to visit this past summer while my boys and I were in Ohio visiting (and I was working).  It ...